


Don't Leave Me (I Don't Want To Be Alone)

by PeakyFookinBlinders (Sherlocked729)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Basically everyone is sad, Ghost Ben, Good Sibling Vanya Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Not complaint with some episodes, Not sure where Luther and Five are but it isn't in here, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Diego, Sad Klaus, Sassy Klaus, Self-Destruction, Self-Worth Issues, So much angst, Survivor Guilt, Vanya Didn't Destroy Everything, Vanya Never Almost Killed Allison, especially the last one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24483295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlocked729/pseuds/PeakyFookinBlinders
Summary: Klaus knows what he likes and it isn't being alone, not all those times when their father had locked him in with the dead, all those voices screaming in his head at once. He's still haunted by the man he couldn't save, and the only person he ever truly loved, not including his siblings.  He just wants to be a decent human being, but it's hard when you've hardly been sober longer than a couple weeks at a time. Thank whatever entity exists that Ben is there to help him through it all still. Now if only he could shake the guilt he feels. Oh yeah, and help his other siblings through their own problems as well.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/Dave (talked about in past tense)
Kudos: 64





	1. shut up

**Author's Note:**

> Soo this is what I'm doing right now since I'm anxious and afraid of everything and scared. I'm writing multiple fics at once and updating several times a week, haha. This is my first Umbrella Academy fic.
> 
> Like I said in the tags, this fic isn't very compliant with the last UA episode, and I've changed a few things so forgive me, but I hope you still like it anyway. Please comment if you do like it! It'll keep me motivated to keep writing.

**. . .**

“What the hell are you doing?”

Klaus exhaled dramatically and rubbed his palms into his eyes before opening them and looking over at Ben who was sitting across from him on the floor. “What ever are you talking about, dear bro? I’m in my happy place. What does it look like I’m doing?”

Ben gave a disapproving look. “It looks to me like you’re trying to distract yourself from reality by escaping. You made yourself a pillow fort with blankets and everything! You’re not a kid anymore, Klaus.”

Klaus gave a frustrating groan before he hit the floor with his fists. “Of course I’m trying to distract myself! Not taking drugs is soooo haaard,” he whined. “Of course I don’t expect _you_ to understand, what with you not even having truly lived a life before you were taken so _cruelly_ from this world.”

Ben’s disapproval never faltered. “Playing the dead card again, real original. I know you’re only being a dick right now because you’re withdrawing.”

“Think whatever you want,” Klaus sighed heavily, his arms wrapped around his own slender body. “Fuck, I’m lonely. Do you think any of our siblings would hang out with me right now?”

Ben scoffed and shook his head. “Wow, thanks.”

The other younger man mockingly scoffed back and rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Benny, but you don’t count right now. You’re just pretty much my ghost of Christmas past. I need some actual human interaction here. You know, a bit of tea and sympathy, if you catch my drift?”

Ben’s face became soft, and Klaus felt a tinge of guilt when he saw hurt in his eyes. “You won’t get any sympathy from _them_ , or me. You wouldn’t have to go through this every time you went through withdraw if you didn’t get high in the first place.”

“Aaargh! Go away already, please…. I don’t need your nagging right now. My head is killing me, and I feel like my intestines are playing tug-o-war right now. The last thing I need right now is you yammering on about what I shouldn’t do.”

“Fine,” Ben declared. “Let me know when you stop being an asshole, Klaus.” He crawled out of the pillow fort before Klaus could protest and disappeared.

The other man sighed and held his stomach for several minutes, his eyes closed.

_“Help…”_

_“Help me!”_

_“Klaus, I… I love you…”_

He abruptly sat up before he ran into his bathroom and emptied his stomach into the toilet before he flushed, tucking his head into his knees. “Fuck…”

He couldn’t save Dave, because of course not. He didn’t deserve to love anyone when he was the way he was. Drug addicts didn’t deserve happiness.

Or at least that was his own opinion.

He was cautiously still staying close to the toilet when he heard a voice behind him.

“Feeling all right?”

_Diego._

“No, actually. I feel like shit, thanks for asking though!” Klaus put on his mask to hide the real pain he was feeling. “Go away now, please.”

“No,” Diego declared. “I actually need your help with something, so come on. Grab your jacket. We’re going to your trusty drug dealer.”

Everything in this sentence made Klaus finally stand up and look at his brother in surprise. “ _You_ want to get some good-time feel-goods? Wow, this whole time, I thought you were the straight shooter of the gang, but whoa-ho, you really surprised me, Diego!”

“Shut up, Four,” the other brother ordered, only calling his siblings by their numbers when he was feeling especially impatient, with the exception of Five, of course. “I mean it… grab your coat, let’s go, now.”

“Right-o, dear bro!” Klaus chirped, feeling secretly disgusted and frustrated at the idea of going to see his drug dealer when he wasn’t actually getting any drugs for himself. “I’ll go if you tell me what and who they’re for.”

“In the car. Five minutes,” Diego walked out of the bathroom and then out of Klaus’ room.

He whined loudly, running his fingers through his hair before he reluctantly put on a jacket he was sure belonged to Ben at one time and started downstairs. He gave a fanciful wave at Allison who was sitting on the couch reading, who waved back to him, smiling worriedly.

He hurried outside and threw himself in the back of Diego’s car, feeling like a ball of nerves.

“You can do this, Klaus,” Ben’s voice suddenly echoed in the car. “You don’t need to buy anything from him…”

“I thought I told you to leave me!”

Diego glanced in the back seat at his brother and saw Klaus looking next to him. He was used to it by now, but there were always questions in the back of his back that he wanted to ask; he just never did.

“I wish I could leave you. It’s probably your guilty conscious keeping me tied here,” Ben remarked a bit bitterly, but he looked regretful once the words had left his tongue.

Klaus groaned inwardly and then looked at Diego, feeling dread tying up his stomach. “Look, Diego Dangerfield, I know you’re probably still in pain because of your lady friend, but… doing what I used to do isn’t the answer.”

“Oh, what, _you’re_ going to give me a lecture about not doing drugs? You, of all people? Anyway, since when are you suddenly clean? Two days ago, you were high as a goddamn kite, and I had to save you from jumping off the roof.”

“I got clean yesterday! I mean… I just… stopped taking drugs yesterday, but I’m detoxing right now, which is why my stomach feels like someone’s playing jump rope with it. What did you need anyway?”

Diego wet his lips, looking reluctant to tell him, but knew that of all people, Klaus wouldn’t judge him. He’s done every drug known to man. “Maybe some oxy, to help me after missions.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Klaus rolled his eyes. “Oxy is known to help people… why couldn’t you want normal drugs like heroine or ecstasy? Oxy is a very lower-class drug, Diego.”

“I’m giving you the money for it, Klaus, so just stop it. I just… need you to help me here, bro, all right? Please.”

Klaus hated when his brother begged. It was such a rare occurrence that it made him stand and take notice. He sighed heavily and looked over at Ben who was shaking his head.

“Don’t do this for him, Klaus. He’s just going to go down the same road you’re on right now.”

He swallowed hard, feeling like both his brothers were ripping him apart right now. Finally he looked at Ben with almost sad eyes. “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it. No, wait – actually, I probably won’t, come to think of it.”

Diego stopped the car in front of the alleyway that he’d seen Klaus go down and come out of many a time before. He glanced down to see a shady looking fellow standing against the wall as well. Diego got out of the car and walked over to the driver side of the car.

“Are you absolutely sure you want me to do this for you? There’s no shame in saying no, Diego,” Klaus tried to reason with him, hoping that his brother would change his mind, but he watched him put money into his hand, probably more than it was going to cost.

He started walking down the alleyway, purposely sauntering dramatically just to take longer to do the task he was forced to do.

“Come on, Klaus,” Ben whispered to him even though he knew no one else could see or hear him. “Please, don’t do this, man.”

“Hey, if Diego wants to poison himself like I have, then it’s his choice,” Klaus shrugged, exhaustion in his voice. He hugged his jacket tighter to himself even though he was sweating. “I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t do this for him.”

“No, actually, you’d be a decent brother if you didn’t get him drugs!” Ben argued. “What do you think Allison would say about this? What about Vanya?”

“Who cares?!” Klaus half-chuckled. “They’re not here right now, and I get blamed or everything else around the house, so why not this too?”

“You know this isn’t right, Klaus.”

“It’s not exactly wrong either, though, Benny,” he exchanged goods with the drug dealer quickly, both men trying to make it look nonchalant before they walked away in separate directions afterwards.

Ben shook his head disappointedly before he was forced back into silence.

Klaus hurried back to the car before he gave Diego the baggie of oxycontin and relaxed again as he drove the both of them back to the Academy. He lay in the backseat on his back, closing his eyes, still feeling chilled, and sweaty, and nauseous.

“Hey, are you all right?”

Klaus didn’t open his eyes. Instead, he put an arm over his forehead as a headache began to form. “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” He asked dreamily. “I _told_ you, Diego! I’ve stopped taking the fun-yums!”

Diego didn’t say anything until he parked the car and then turned to Klaus in the back seat. “Promise me you won’t tell any of them. Right now, promise me.”

Klaus was feeling so tired.

“Fiiiine,” he agreed. “I promise I’ll keep your dirty little secret, Diego.”

“Good.”

Without another word, his brother got out of the car and walked into the large mansion. Klaus stayed in the car, listening as it started to rain, hearing the droplets hit the windows.

He wasn’t sure how long he was asleep for, but at some point, he heard a gentle, rhythmic tapping on the window of someone trying to get his attention. He opened his eyes and saw it was Vanya.

Of course, he could make an exception for his little sister. He slowly sat up and opened the door before moving over, making a conscious decision to make sure Ben wasn’t in the other seat anymore before he did so.

She slid in the car and turned to look at him, smiling softly. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“You’re the second person to ask me that question today,” Klaus yawned. “More importantly, though… how are _you_ , dear sis?”

“I’m all right,” Vanya shrugged, her eyes still filled with genuine concern. “I’m more worried about you, though. Why are you sleeping in Diego’s car? Do you need somewhere to stay?”

Despite how horrible he felt physically, he felt his heart grow a little to hear his sister’s offer to him. She was so pure and kind; she had seen him detox before, so chances are that she at least had a feeling that she knew he was going through it again.

He took her hand and held it, which thankfully she let him. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be all right, I think, Van. I’m just… going through it,” he sighed softly. “You know. I’m just not feeling my best at the moment.”

Vanya nodded in understanding. “Well, let’s get you inside. Would you like to have some tea with me, Klaus?”

He smiled brightly and nodded. “I would _love_ to have tea with you, Vanya.”

“Great,” she smiled and then got out of the car before he helped him out, letting him wrap his arm around hers to support himself. “Let’s go.”

The two siblings walked arm in arm into the Academy and started into the kitchen together where Klaus automatically sat down in a chair while Vanya filled the kettle with water and set it on the stove. He looked out the window, listening to the calming sound of the rain.

He watched her, almost considering telling her about Diego, but a part of him knew that his brother wouldn’t overdose or anything. He felt like he was one of the strongest of them, and in his mind, without Diego, they all would die. He considered himself too important to overdose. He figured he would just take one to help him sleep.

Anyway, he didn’t want him to be angry at him either when he found out Klaus told Vanya even though he had promised he wouldn’t.

“Tell her, Klaus.”

Klaus closed his eyes momentarily. “Shut up…”

Vanya turned around to look at him and searched his face curiously. “Do you… still see him, Klaus? Ben, I mean. You still talk to him and everything?” She glanced at the chair beside her brother where Ben used to sit at the table.

Klaus looked over at the same chair, actually seeing Ben and he was looking a bit nervous. He looked over at Vanya again. “Yes, I talk to him… but mostly, he just nags me to either do things or not do things. It’s very one-sided, truth be told.”

She bit her lip and looked anxiously at him. “W-Will… you tell him that I still love him, and I miss him?”

Klaus glanced over at Ben now who was looking almost sad. “You heard that, right?” When he saw Ben nod, he looked at her again. “Ben heard you.”

Vanya looked as if she were on the verge of crying now, looking almost desperate to talk to Ben again.

“Tell her… that I love and miss her too.”

Klaus looked at him in surprise before looking over at Vanya and smiled. “He says ditto. I mean, not ‘ditto,’ that is my word. He says he loves and misses you too, though.”

This time, a tear actually ran down her face, but she quickly wiped it away, smiling softly. She looked almost relieved to hear his words. The kettle began to scream, and she shut the stove off before pouring water into two mugs for them.

They sat at the table for several minutes, hugging their mugs and just enjoying each other’s company.

“Vanya,” Klaus started, causing her to look up with her doe eyes. “Do you ever wish you could… just… change who you are? I mean, do you ever wish you had different powers?”

She blinked and thought about it for a bit. “Yeah,” she nodded. “I don’t really like that I can influence and hurt people with my own emotions. I wish I could do more good.”

He gave her a solemn smile and casually rested his legs across her thighs, which she seemed to be used to by now.

“You’re good without your powers, Vanya. You can say that any of us could really use our own powers for bad as well. Look at Allison, I mean… she already has used her own powers for evil, right?”

“Which she feels horrible about, Klaus.”

He nodded quickly in agreement. “Right, of course. I’m sorry. My point is… that any of us could choose to use our special powers for bad, and you’re not alone, sis.”

“Thank you, Klaus.” She smiled again, taking a sip of tea. “I should let you lay down, though. I’ll run a bath for you, okay? You can relax.”

He gave a dismissive wave, feeling unworthy of her kindness. “You’re awfully sweet, but I can do it myself. I won’t drown or anything in the bath,” he chuckled.

“I don’t mind, Klaus,” she insisted. “Really. Anyway, I know you’re pretty not feeling so hot. I’ll get Diego to carry you upstairs and I can take your tea.”

“That’s probably not a good idea,” Ben suddenly interjected, having been quiet all this time.

“Err…” Four stammered nervously. “It’s all right. I can make it up the stairs by myself. Anyway, I could use some alone time, to be honest. I’ve seen enough of generic Batman today.” He took his legs off of her and slowly forced himself to stand, taking his tea.

She stood up as well, holding her hands out in case his legs gave out. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t trouble yourself. I will be just fine,” he walked over and kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, though, my twisted sister. We’ll talk again soon.” He started to shuffle off towards the stairs but then opted for the elevator instead.

He could see Ben was in there with him and an awkward silence hung over them like a thick cloud. Finally, the deceased brother was the first one to speak as the elevator stopped at the floor with their rooms.

“Are you planning on telling anyone about Diego?”

Klaus snorted at the suggestion. “No. I’m not, actually. Thanks for playing!”

“You know if he ODs, it’ll be your fault, right?”

Four looked appalled at his brother’s comment and turned to look at him. “Uh, no it won’t. Diego can make his own choices. He’s a big boy now. We raised him right! Anyway, he’s too egocentric to overdose, especially when he thinks he’s the glue that holds us all together.”

He stepped out of the elevator and started towards his room, walking through it to get to the bathroom and started to strip off his clothes.

Ben put his hand up to block out a naked Klaus. “To be fair, him and Luther are both the glue that holds us together.”

“Whatever, Ben!” He threw his arms up in the air before he began to fill the bathtub up with lukewarm water. “At one point, _you_ held this family together so let’s just say we’re all one of Five’s sticky, marshmallowy sandwiches that held us all together at one point.” He got into the tub and squeezed bubbles into the tub.

Klaus rested his head against the back of the top as bubbles covered his aching body. He wanted to fast forward this withdrawal and keep to the better part of being sober, well, there wasn’t actually any great part of being sober, but at least he could say without lying that he was clean.

He could brag and boast about it to his siblings, and the best part was that he wouldn’t have to steal anything else to pay for his drug habit. He most looked forward to that; he felt the greatest guilt when he had stolen from Vanya to buy his last drugs.

He knew she knew he had stolen, and it made him worse to know that she wouldn’t even confront him about it like his other siblings would. She always expected him to change because she actually thought he was a decent person, even if he did have bad habits.

_So pure._

He let the water soothe his muscles and he took a deep breath before glancing over with his eyes to look at Ben who was sitting on the floor.

“I hate you for helping me get clean again,” he complained with no real hate behind his words. “It’s the worst decision I think we’ve ever made.”

Ben looked up at him and shook his head. “No, the worst decision was letting you get high all the time.”

“Oh, like you had a choice!” Klaus laughed humorlessly.

Ben’s look never faltered. “No, but it was your choice to get clean, Klaus. You should be proud of yourself for that. Admit it, you miss me when you take your pills and go into your dreamland. You miss when I’m not around, and that’s why you keep getting clean again after getting high.”

“Well, gee golly, Ben! You sure have got my number,” Klaus replied, half sarcastically. He hated that Ben was right, and the worst thing was that he knew he was right. “Fine, but… yeah, okay. I might miss you a little teeny bit.”

“I knew it.”

Klaus chuckled and smirked. “Shut up.”


	2. a tale of two drugs

**. . .**

The next morning, Klaus felt depression creeping into his bones and found himself wondering if this was the more serious, chemical based depression or just withdrawal depression. He wrapped his arms around his body, hugging himself as he closed his eyes.

_“Promise me when this whole thing is over, we can still be together.”_

_“I… I want that… more than you can imagine, but… I’m not sure if that would be possible, Dave. I love you, I do. I just… it’s not safe… right now. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt because of me.”_

_“I don’t care. Just… promise me anyway, even if you don’t mean it, Klaus.”_

_“Fine, I promise, then. Cross my heart.”_

Klaus opened his eyes to let tears fall down his face at the memory. He hugged himself tighter, pretending it was Dave’s strong arms around him instead of his own.

Okay, so maybe this was the worse depression, after all. It was also highly likely that this was a combination of both the withdrawal as well as the chemical imbalance.

“It’s been fifty years, Klaus…” Ben spoke softly from next to him on the bed.

Klaus sniffled, more tears escaping his eyes. “It feels like yesterday.”

Ben moved off the bed and opted to sit in a chair instead. He looked at his brother with soft eyes. “I know you loved him, but don’t you think it’s time to focus on the future instead?”

“What future?” Klaus slowly sat up to look at him, wiping his face with his arm. “I don’t have any future without him in it. I loved him more than I ever loved anyone in my entire life. All my life, I’ve had one-night stands and just let myself feel numb to everything and even when hell was raining down around us, I still felt love, like I could’ve had a future with Dave, but now he’s gone.”

“Technically he was gone fifty years ago.”

“Shut up!” Klaus threw his arms up in the air. “No one asked _you_! I just… I miss him… so much. You’ve never been in love, though. You don’t know how this feels.”

“Maybe not,” Ben admitted grudgingly. “But I still have the capacity to understand sibling love. You’re my brother and I loved you. I loved Vanya, Luther, Diego… all of them. If something bad happened to any of you, I’d feel sad too.”

Klaus shook his head in disbelief. “Poor, naïve Benjamin… sibling love is nothing like real love. What Dave and I had was so… _real_. You couldn’t possibly understand what we went through together.”

Ben was looking frustrated. “Fine! You’re right – is that what you want to hear, Klaus? Of course I couldn’t possibly understand what you two went though together… probably because I’ve never had a magical suitcase that time traveled me back to the sixties.”

Klaus was about to keep arguing with him but then saw he was gone. “Well, that’s just rude.”

He stood up and got changed into a long skirt he had stolen from Allison that he particularly liked and an open shirt with feathers before he decided to check on his brother.

He walked down the hall and gently knocked on Diego’s door. “Wakey, wakey! You still alive in here, Diego? Oh, _please_ still be alive. I don’t think I could handle you being dead too.” He moved over to the bed and gently poked his brother.

Diego didn’t move at first, causing Klaus to feel fearful. “Diego…? Hello?”

He watched his chest and at first glance it looked as if the other man wasn’t breathing. Then suddenly, he opened his eyes and stretched. “Klaus?”

“Holy Christ on a cracker! You nearly gave me a heart attack… I thought you overdosed or something on those oxys.” Klaus sat down on the bed beside him.

Diego rubbed his eyes and looked over at him, quiet for a long time as he took in his outfit of the day. “I’m not like you,” he replied. “I can responsibly take drugs.”

“I resent that! I can very much take drugs responsibly!” Klaus argued. “I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

“Barely,” Diego turned his body so he was facing his brother now. “How many times have I had to visit you at the hospital though after an overdose? Do you realize there’s been nights where I thought that night was the last night you’d be alive?”

Klaus opened his mouth dramatically in surprise. “Oh Diego, I’m touched!”

“Well, someone’s gotta be worried about you…”

Klaus sighed and went quiet for several minutes. “Make us coffeeeee….” He playfully whined now.

Diego scrunched his brows together. “ _You_ make coffee. I just woke up. I know you know how to. You’ve been making it ever since you watched mom do it.”

“I _know_ , but you make it better than I do! Please, Diego? I’m sad! You have to make it for me.”

Diego let out a chuckle and searched his brother’s eyes, only now noticing how red and puffy they looked. He gave a sympathetic smile and groaned as he rolled out of bed. “Fine. Don’t say I never do anything for you, though.”

Klaus clapped his hands together excitedly before he followed Diego, albeit slowly, downstairs into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He almost wished that Ben were back to talk to over morning coffee, but then he also realized it might be better to talk to a brother who could understand the greatest loss of all.

Diego made the coffee and then set a cup down in front of Klaus before sitting across from him. He took a long drink, glancing out the window as he did so. Klaus held the cup in his hands, unsure where to even start. Luckily, it was his brother that spoke first.

“What was Dave like? I mean, was he… good to you?” It was a genuine question, one that surprised Klaus. He was rarely asked if anyone treated him well, ever.

“He was… very good to me, Diego. He was sensitive and pure and real. He made me laugh when it was the last thing I thought I could do,” he smiled sadly to himself, feeling tears well up in his eyes again. “He was one-of-a-kind.”

Diego took another drink of coffee and leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the chair next to him. “That’s how I felt about Eudora. She had our share of fights, but she understood me. She knew who I was, what kind of person I was.”

“She sounds like she was good for you, like my Dave.” Klaus brought his legs up and then put them underneath him so sit crisscross applesauce on the chair.

Diego gave a thoughtful smile before he nodded. “She was. Can I ask you a question?” When he saw his brother give a nod, he continued. “How do you keep going, Klaus? When they’re just… gone, how the hell do you keep living?”

Klaus saw tears now in Diego’s eyes and he felt his stomach knot. He rarely ever saw tears in his eyes. Diego was the strong one. He never just fell apart in front of them unless something was seriously wrong. He swallowed hard, taking another drink of coffee before he shrugged and looked at him.

“Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m the right person to answer that, buddy. I suppose… I just think what Dave would have wanted me to do, and… I feel like despite everything, he’d want me to keep going. He wanted what was best for me, you know? I know that I didn’t know your lady friend very well, but… she did rescue me, and I’m sure she would want you to keep living too.”

Diego sniffled before he rubbed his eyes roughly and stood up before he put his glass in the sink. “Thanks, Klaus. I’m going to back to bed, I think. I’ll see you later.”

“Goodnight, D,” Klaus spoke to him, watching him solemnly. He sighed heavily and was relieved to see Allison walk in a few minutes later, making a beeline for the coffee machine. “Good morning, sis.”

She jumped a little and turned to look at him before she chuckled nervously, smiling. “Good morning, Klaus. Jesus, you scared me. I didn’t expect you to be awake yet.”

He gave a weak smile back, watching her fill up her cup and sit next to him at the table. “Well, that’s the price of sobriety, I think. Waking up early… actually doing things. It’s terrible, Allison… just terrible.”

She gave a soft chuckle, drinking from her cup. “Well, I’m really glad that you’re choosing to be sober again. How are you feeling?”

Klaus rubbed his head, feeling a headache forming. “Like I got hit with a bus, and it’s still running me over, running over spikes in the ground, repeatedly. I feel… so… so sad.”

“You feel like that every time you start going through withdrawal, though,” she searched his face. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Klaus? Even if it’s something more than just withdrawal?”

He looked over at her and gave a soft smile before he nodded. He loved both his sisters the best, he thought. They were both so sweet to him.

“Yes, I do know that. Thank you, Allison. You’re such a kindhearted soul. We need more people like you in the world,” he stood up and grabbed a second cup of coffee before he sat across from her now so he could smoke.

He took out a cigarette and lit it before taking a long drag from it, exhaling the smoke away from her. “You look sad too. Are you missing Luther?”

She seemed to tense a bit and Klaus shook his head before putting his fingers to his lips. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Daddy dearest or anything,” he whispered.

She shook her head. “I think Dad already knows, actually. Anyway, yes. I am missing Luther. I wish he hadn’t left.”

Klaus bit his lip, knowing that that might have been his fault. He took another drag and searched her eyes. “Now I wish I was Five so I can go back in time to change things. I would’ve tried to do more to stop Luther from sleeping with her, but I just…” he trailed off.

“From what you told us, you were unconscious… almost dead,” Allison remarked. “I don’t blame you for what he did, Klaus. He made his own decision.”

“I know, but… we all do things we’re not proud of when we’re drunk, and… high. It wasn’t exactly his fault either,” Klaus insisted. “I know he didn’t do it to hurt you, and I’m sure he misses you too!”

“Thanks, Klaus, really… but if he missed me, then he’d be here with me, don’t you think?”

He thought for a minute and shrugged. “Maybe he wants to be here with you, but he’s just not able? I mean… he could be busy with something important, saving the world again or something…”

Allison gave a tight smile but didn’t say anything. She just nodded hopefully and drank her coffee, watching Klaus as he alternated between smoking and drinking coffee as well. “How’s Diego doing?”

He gave a chuckle. “Why do you think _I_ would know how Diego is? He barely talks to me… or puts up with me…”

“You talk to him more than I do,” she shrugged. “Is he all right? I know he’s been upset since Patch died.”

Klaus gave a dismissive wave. “Oh, he’ll be all right. He’s Diego… he’s always okay, even when he’s not. I sure miss Five, though. I wonder if he’s time traveling again.”

“Hopefully he’s with Luther,” she sighed. “I hope they’re both all right. I don’t even know where to reach them.”

Klaus envied Five and Luther. They had the good sense to drop off the map, with no forwarding number or address to be reached. The whole thing with Dad, Hazel and Cha-Cha probably had just been too mentally exhausting that they just needed time away from world-saving and their siblings. He couldn’t blame them; he just wished that he had been invited to join them as well.

“I’m sure they’re both okay,” Klaus nodded in agreement. “Anyway, if they were both dead, I’d probably be the first to see them, right?”

The smile wilted from Allison’s face now. “That’s not funny, Klaus,” she scolded lightly. “And not if they didn’t want you to see them. Do you talk to dad often? How long was it until you saw him?” She reminded him rhetorically.

Klaus gave a nod. “Valid point, sis.” He finished his cigarette and put it out before he sighed softly. “Thanks, by the way, for not asking about your clothes. I just saw a fashion opportunity and I had to take it.”

Allison cast her eyes up and down him for the first time before she smiled. “They look better on you than they ever did on me,” she chuckled. “Anyway, I think I’ve grown used to you stealing my clothes, Klaus.”

He gave a soft laugh now and nodded. “I look simply fabulous.”

“You certainly do,” she laughed as well before she stood up and playfully rubbed his hair and put her cup in the sink. “I’m going to go out for a few things. Would you like anything, Klaus?”

He thought for a minute. “Oh! Maybe a nice vintage button down shirt, you know, with sleeves? That might be nice.”

She chuckled and smiled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He watched her disappear and felt his heart swell. Even though she was laughing a bit, he knew that she would actually try to find him something. Allison was such a good person, despite what her domestic problems with her ex-husband. 

He took a drink of his coffee and watched now as Vanya was the next one to come into the kitchen and also grab some before sitting beside him.

“Why can’t you all just be in the same place at the same time?” Klaus asked dreamily. “I’m getting whiplash from watching you all come and leave.”

Vanya smirked and shrugged. “Sorry, Klaus. I guess we all just have bad timing. How are you feeling? Any better?”

Klaus shook his head. “I want drugs _so bad_ … I believe I would _literally_ do anything for some pills right now. Just something to numb this pain I’m feeling. It’s been fifty years, Vanya. Fifty, and I still can’t get Dave out of my head, or my heart.”

She looked at him gently and placed a hand on his arm. “It might have technically been fifty years, but… for you, it was only a couple days ago, Klaus. No one expects you to snap out of it.”

“Ben does,” Klaus sighed heavily.

She looked surprised again at the sound of his name and instinctively looked around the table, as if he might be there listening to them.

“Don’t worry, he’s not here right now. He just said it earlier to me this morning.”

Vanya looked disappointed but nodded. “Well, _I_ don’t expect you to just suddenly move on from something like that. You loved him, and he loved you, and… what you two had was so special. I hope one day I can have a relationship like that.”

Klaus smiled warmly and looked at her. “You will, Van. I know you will. Maybe next time you’ll have someone who’s a thousand times better than Mr. Obsession. Not that that was on you,” he quickly added. “I just mean that he was a completely tool, and you deserve so much better, Vanya.”

There was guilt in her eyes, but she smiled weakly. “Thanks, Klaus. We’ll see. Umm… I-I’m actually seeing someone else, you know, right now. “

“Oh reeeeeally?” Klaus smirked, turning to face her now. “Tell me everything! What’s he like? Wait, is he living with you right now? Why are you staying here?”

She looked taken back now and froze for several moments before she shook her head. “N-No, we don’t live together, yet. He just comes by my apartment sometimes and we go out and do stuff.”

“Something’s wrong,” Ben suddenly spoke, appearing out of nowhere beside Klaus. “She’s not saying everything.”

Klaus didn’t need Ben to tell him that; he knew Vanya and he was good at figuring out when she was lying or keeping something from him. He searched her face. “Well, I hope you two are happy together, Van. Just… let me know if you need any help with… anything,” he offered, trying to be nonchalant.

“Oh,” she nodded. “Thanks, Klaus.”

“Ask her,” Ben ordered.

Klaus gave him a cold look before he groaning, looking back at Vanya. “Is he treating you okay?”

“W-What?” She gave a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, of course he is.”

“She’s lying, Klaus. Come on… get to the heart of the issue! She’s our sister! You need to help her.”

Klaus turned to him. “I don’t need to do anything! You can’t just leave and pop in whenever you feel like it! It’s insanely annoying… if you want to talk to them, why don’t you just… oh, I don’t know, stay in one place long enough so I have time to ask and answer!”

“Are you talking to Ben right now…?”

Klaus sighed and nodded. “I swear he’s more annoying now that he’s dead. He doesn’t seem to ever shut up…”

She looked conflicted for a moment but just gave an uneasy smile. “He was always a complicated one. W-What did he want to say to me?”

Klaus blinked and looked at her before he took a drink of coffee again. “He just… wanted me to make sure you’re okay.”

She nodded and looked down at her own cup. Klaus felt his heart breaking. Something was wrong but he wasn’t sure what it was. It was obvious that Vanya would never tell him either. He just had to wait. Eventually, things would come to light.

“I’m going to back to my place and wait for him,” she said as she stood up, putting her cup in the sink.

“All right, V,” he said softly. “I miss our talks. You should stay over more often. We can have girl nights! We can watch movies and paint our nails together… gossip…”

This brought a bright smile to her face. “That sounds amazing, actually. We’ll do it soon, I promise.”

He stood up and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug before letting her leave. As soon as she was gone from the room, he felt empty again.

_No. Fuck this. Fuck sobriety. It was no fun being sober anymore._

He hurried upstairs to his room and started to go through his things hurriedly. He threw drawers out of his dresser, groaning when he couldn’t find what he was looking for.

“Klaus,” Ben groaned. “You’re doing so good. Don’t screw it up now!”

“What do you even know, Ben? You’re dead and gone and I’m alone without anyone! At least the pills made me happy.”

Ben shook his head. “No, Klaus. They made you numb. You might have made you feel something for a few hours but then you just went back to being depressed again, remember? You don’t need them. You’re stronger without them!”

Klaus spent the next forty minutes trashing his room as he ripped apart everything, looking for any pills or any drugs at all that might help him, but was disappointed when he came up empty handed. Then he remembered Diego’s pills.

“Don’t even think about it,” Ben looked at him hard. “Those are Diego’s.”

Klaus gave a laugh of disbelief. “They might be in his bedroom but it’s not like he actually needs them! I’ve never known him to take any painkiller of any kind, even after missions! He doesn’t even need them, and I do… so if you’ll excuse me.”

He hurried out of the room and into Diego’s where he was sleeping soundly again. He crept over to the baggie on the bedroom dresser and took one out before he quickly swallowed it and grabbed the glass of water to swallow it down.

He gave a low, guttural moan of satisfaction as he felt it enter his body, just the act of swallowing _some_ kind of pill made it easier. He trudged back to his room but seeing how trashed it was, he decided to take the elevator and sleep on the couch instead.

He waited for Ben to start scolding him, but it never came.

It never usually came whenever Klaus finally gave into his old habits again. He was alone with his own thoughts, and he never felt worse. All he could do now was wait for the oxycontin to make him drowsy enough to fall asleep again.

Once he did, he found that his dreams were once again filled with Dave.


	3. Sober no more

**. . .**

  
“What the hell are you doing?”

Klaus opened his eyes groggily and looked around, taking in his surroundings. He barely even remembered having made it downstairs to crash on the couch. He looked up and saw Diego staring down at him.

“Well, I believe most people call it sleeping,” he replied sleepily. “I’ve seen you do it as well, believe it or not. What do you want?”

“Come on, Klaus. Let’s go out somewhere, you know, like we used to before.”

_Before Eudora Patch was killed._

_Before Hazel and Cha-Cha._

_Before their little sister Vanya used her powers to kill Leonard._

He shook his head from his place on the couch and groaned. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I’m staying here I think today. You can go, though, Diego. Go on, go without me. I’ll be just fine here.”

Concern touched Diego’s eyes and he moved closer to him, looking him up and down. “Did you take something, Klaus?”

He looked up at his brother. “Nothing too illegal, I promise. I just… borrowed one of your sleepy weepy pills.”

Diego’s jaw clenched and he shook his head. “You were sober for two days, Klaus… you were doing so good. I’ll say this about you, you can always be relied on to give up sobriety in record time.”

“Sobriety is soooo boring, Diego,” Klaus drawled, stretching on the couch. “I can’t be alone with my thoughts… I just can’t. At least that’s one thing I can be counted on to do… fail. I… I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save Dave. I failed at that…”

Tears ran down his face and he made no movement to wipe them.

Diego kneeled down beside the couch and put a hand on his brother’s arm. “You didn’t do yourself any favors by taking one of my pills. You didn’t numb _anything._ Look at yourself, bro. You’re bawling. You’re in pain.”

Klaus sniffled as more tears fell. This time he rubbed his cheeks roughly and turned his body towards his brother and tucked his knees into his body. “I suspect that’s because it’s wearing off now that I’m awake. Those few hours that I was asleep for though were so precious. I’d like to go back there now, thank you… goodbye.”

“Klaus,” Diego pressed. “Come on. We should get out there, stopping some petty crime from happening. You know, cracking skulls, breaking balls.”

The other man gave a sad smile and seemed to think. Maybe he could get something better if they went out, something that made him livelier, less sleepy. He rolled off the bed and stretched his arms over head again before he looked at his brother.

“Let me get my things.”

Klaus reluctantly walked to his room and rolled his aching shoulders; you would think for being so wealthy, their father could have afforded a more comfortable couch to sleep on.

He grabbed the money he had on hand, which wasn’t much, and stuffed it into his pocket before grabbing his jacket and put it on. Klaus walked past all their bedrooms, feeling a solemnness inside of him taking over.

Five and Luther were gone somewhere.

Diego and himself were barely holding on.

Vanya and Allison were basically just carrying on.

Ben was still dead (but of course he was still dead). It didn’t make things any easier for him.

He met Diego out in the car, hopping in the backseat before he put his shoes on. “We need to make a stop at the alleyway first, please.”

Diego looked at his brother in the mirror, disapproval in his eyes. “More pills? I have more if you want mine. I’m done with them.”

“That’s kind of you but I don’t want them anymore either,” he admitted. “I need an upper, something that won’t make me sleep all day.”

“So what, coke? Is that your answer now, Klaus? Are you graduating to more illegal drugs now?”

Klaus let out a laugh. “Oh, I’ve been doing illegal drugs since we were thirteen. And I was thinking maybe some E. It would be nice to feel nice for once.”

“Oh, ecstasy. Well, that’s fantastic, Klaus. So glad you’re keeping up with this whole sobriety thing. You’re really doing great now. Just hang in there and I’m sure that you’ll have this whole drug habit kicked in a couple weeks.”

“Oh shut up, already! I don’t need your judgement right now, Diego! Just give up on me… everyone else has.” He knew that wasn’t entirely true, but Vanya and Allison didn’t know that he had taken oxy last night either, so he figured they’d be disappointed if they knew.

Diego started up the car and began to drive. “I can’t believe I’m doing this… enabling an addict.”

“It’s because you love meee,” Klaus threw his hands in the air. “I guess at least one of us should because I sure as hell don’t love myself.”

“I just want to be around in case you take too much of it so I can drive you to the hospital. I’m not going to let you die in some shady alley.”

“One pill is all it takes for the high to hit,” Klaus said simply before he chuckled darkly. “I doubt I’m going to overdose on ecstasy. If anything, I might die of dehydration but that’s about it.”

“Well, Klaus,” Diego sighed sharply. “I’d prefer if you didn’t have to die at all.”

“Hey, if you had my powers, and I died, then _you_ could see me, and I wouldn’t have to see anyone else again! That’d be great.”

“Great for you,” he huffed. “I’d still be stuck having to listen to you complain all day.”

Klaus was silent now but only because he saw Ben appear next to him.

“You don’t have to do this, Klaus,” the deceased man spoke. “You can choose not to, you know. You might feel better for it.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I won’t.”

Ben rolled his eyes and put a hand on Klaus’ shoulder. “Come on, man. You really don’t need to do this. You’re better than this, Klaus. You’re stronger. It’ll just numb you for a little bit but when you come down from the drugs, you’ll just be in that much more pain.”

“It’s okay, I’m going to prepare for the comedown later. I just need it right now, so I don’t end up drowning in the bathtub on accident.”

He saw Diego look at him in the rearview mirror, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he continued to drive down the street.

Klaus knew that Ben wasn’t really there, but his hand felt real on his shoulder. He wondered if that was actually himself doing that; maybe a part of him didn’t want to get high anymore either, and this was his conscious trying to help him.

He closed his eyes and saw Dave. He wondered what he would want him to do.

The hardest drug Dave ever did was pot, and he hadn’t talked about wanting to do anything harder than that.

“Dave would want me to be happy,” Klaus said softly. “And this will make me happy.”

Ben shook his head in disbelief. “He wouldn’t want you to be artificially happy, though,” he argued gently. “He’d be proud of you for choosing to get clean.”

“Fuck that, and fuck you,” Klaus said airily with no real fight in his words. “I’m doing this. Just… one more time. This will be my last time, and then I’ll get squeaky clean again.”

“It better be your last,” Diego suddenly interjected, parking the car on the side of the road in front of the familiar alleyway. “This is the last place I want to be ever again. Go head. Get your drugs. I’ll wait for you here.”

Klaus looked at him and then nodded before he shuffled out of the car and walked towards his dealer. He told him he wanted ecstasy this time and pulled out his crumbled bills before handing them over and trading with the other man. He took the small baggie of reddish pills and took one before shoving the rest in his pocket.

He trudged back to the car and took a deep breath, trying to get all the voices out of his head. Klaus felt anxious with every step that he took, thinking about Dave, Ben, all the others that were screaming in his mind. He collapsed in the back of the car and saw Diego start it up again before beginning to drive.

“So what exactly are we doing now, Diego? Are we on the lookout for muggers on the street stealing purses from old ladies or… drunk people fighting? What are you hoping to find exactly?”

He looked over at Ben beside him who was looking back at him with worry in his eyes, but he said nothing.

“No, I don’t know,” Diego sighed. “I just… need a mission, all right? I need to do… _something_ or else I’m just going to go batshit waiting for the next big thing to happen, the next criminals to hurt. I need to do something productive.”

“Lookin’ for crime,” Klaus smirked. “You’re like a real Batman, aren’t you, D? Hey! I’ll be Robin. We can be crime fighting pals together.”

“I doubt it. You’re going to be high in an hour or less. You’re not going to helping me any,” Diego stated, driving slowly as he looked around. “By the way, what does Ben think about you doing this, breaking your sobriety?”

“I hate it,” he heard Ben say next to him even though he knew that Diego couldn’t hear him. “I’m disappointed in our brother.”

“Oh, he’s proud. He wants me to be happy and… that’s the goal, don’tcha know?”

“Liar,” Ben snapped.

Klaus laughed. “Dead…”

Diego hit the breaks now and turned around to look at Klaus. “That’s the goal… to be dead? That’s what you want, Klaus?”

Klaus felt confused and then realized how one-sided the conversation he had with Ben had been. He shook his head. “I mean… eventually probably, maybe, but… not at the moment. I was talking to Ben. He called me a liar, so I called him dead.”

“Oh,” Diego looked embarrassed now and then frustrated. He turned around as cars honked behind him and began to drive again. “How can you see him still? I mean, I thought that you couldn’t converse with the dead when you’re high.”

“Well, Diego, the answer is simple. I’m not high, yet… but I will be soon, and then Ben will be gone. At least for a few hours.”

Diego glanced back at him quickly. “I’d kill to see Ben talk again, talk to him. You don’t know how lucky you are, Klaus.”

“Oh yes, very lucky! I get to talk to someone who constantly judges me and gets angry when I make the _‘wrong’_ decision! I have to say, though, at least I don’t have to see dad anymore. That’s a relief, to be honest.”

“You get to talk to and see our brother, man. You get to hear his voice and he follows you around… you get to actually hang out with him, and you don’t get it. You could see him all the time if you just… would stay sober longer than forty-eight hours. I wouldn’t abuse that. I miss him. I wish I could hang out with him all the time.”

Klaus looked in the mirror and saw tears start to fill his eyes but then heard his bother clear his throat and wipe his face, and suddenly the tears were gone, just like that. He looked over and saw Ben also looking at Diego sadly.

“Well, it’s not as great as you make it sound. I would give anything not to have to see dead people all the time. Drugs help me with that! Or at least it makes it more tolerable, depending on what I take…”

Diego gave a shake of his head. “I wish it wasn’t like this for you. I wish… I wish it were easier.”

“Well, none of us can have what we wish for,” he replied, starting to feel it kick in. He looked beside him and saw that his brother was no longer there. “Hey, can you drop me off at home now?”

“No, we’re not done out here yet! We haven’t even seen anything happen.”

“Good, I don’t want to. Drop me off at this corner. I can find my way home from here,” Klaus ordered, pointing out the window. He didn’t want to be forced to fight crime when he was high; he could barely do that when he was sober.

Diego gave a low groan of complaint but stopped at the red light at the corner of the street and looked back at him. “Go on. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Thanks, Diego,” Klaus clambered out of the car and gave a wave with his _Goodbye_ hand. “Stay out of trouble, D. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

He shut the door hard and then hurried over to the sidewalk, starting to walk home. He smiled to himself, feeling the goodness spreading throughout his body as he walked.

_This is what he was talking about._

_This is what he wanted to feel._

He practically skipped down the street, continuing to walk until he finally reached the grand house half an hour later. He hurried inside and made his way up to his room, feeling some energy bouncing around in him now.

He wasted no time in rolling a couple joints, knowing how later he’d want to sleep but would be unable to come back down again. He was halfway through the first one when he saw Vanya at his door, knocking softly.

Klaus smiled brightly when he saw his sister. “Hey, feels like we saw each other just a few hours ago,” he joked. “What brings you to my humble abode, liebste Schwester? Did you have a good time with your boyfriend?”

Vanya slowly entered the room and shrugged. “H-He didn’t show up like we had planned. He didn’t call either so… I decided to come back and told him to call me here if he wanted to reschedule dinner. How are _you_ , though, Klaus? You seem… happier.”

He laughed softly, finishing rolling the first joint and closed it before going to the second. “Oh, I am fantastic, finally, my sister from the same mister. I can’t believe I didn’t decide to do this sooner! I feel whole again. Less sad, free…”

“Do what…?” Vanya examined her brother’s features and then noticed. “Did you take something? I thought you were trying to get sober.”

“Yeah I took something. A little E for some entertainment and energy. I feel amazing right now, V. Back to my old self. Fuck being sober,” Klaus shook his head, smiling. “Not for me.”

Vanya looked disappointed now and sat back on her knees, looking at him. “You were doing amazing, Klaus. You don’t need drugs to feel whole. You have us. We could have helped you through the withdrawal. _I_ would have helped you… you know I would’ve.”

Klaus gave her an apologetic look. “I know, precious sis, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I need something to stop me from thinking about everything and everyone. I’m not numbing the pain; I’m feeling less of the pain in the first place. Don’t worry about me. I know you’re upset about my giving in, but I swear that this is the last time… I mean once I run out. I’ll get clean, for real this time, Vanya. I just needed one last blowout.”

She looked skeptical now and she sighed, resting her chin on her hand. “Of course I worry about you. You’ve been saying those things for years, though, Klaus. I want to believe you, I do… but you make it difficult.”

He barely heard the last words that came out of her mouth because when she put her hand up to rest her face in it, he saw a plethora of blue and yellow bruises on her wrist. “Van? What’s this? What happened?” He gently took her hand in his.

She blinked a few times before she shook her head and gave a nervous chuckle. “Nothing, I just hurt it when I fell yesterday. You know me, I’m a klutz.”

He looked at her carefully, quiet for a long time. “You’re klutzy, sis, but… not any more than I am. Real talk though now, Van… was this your boyfriend? Don’t lie to me…”

She suddenly went on the defensive and took her hand back from him. “Why not? You lie to us all the time.”

“I lie _some_ of the time… I actually mean it when I say I’m going to get clean though. You don’t usually lie to us, though. This is a not so nice change, actually! Come on, Vanya… it’s truth time!”

She stood up and shook her hand. “I already told you, Klaus… I hit it when I fell. I’m fine.”

He sighed heavily and looked at her pleadingly. “We used to tell each other everything as kids, remember? You told me where you hid chocolate and I would tell you where I hid your dresses. We used to be so close, Vanya.”

“I know,” she agreed, sadness in her voice. “Probably around the same time you started doing drugs. Addicts lie, Klaus.”

“I’m not an _addict_.”

“You literally just lied.”

He let out an awkward chuckle and shook his head. “You’re changing the subject! This isn’t about me… as much as I want it to be. Your bastard boyfriend is hurting you, again! You need to do what you did to Leonard! You need to rip him apart!”

Vanya took several steps away now until she was at the door. “He didn’t hurt me. I told you, I fell… and I’m done being _that_ person. I’m back on my meds again.”

“Oh, the meds that Dad gave you? Those were goddamn sedatives, Van! You shouldn’t be taking them at all… not when you’ve taken them already for so many years against your will. Those pills are dangerous!”

“Oh, well… I’m sure you’d know a lot about them, then, wouldn’t you?” She scoffed, turning on her heel and leaving his room.

He put his palms to his eyes and rubbed them before he took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to let her ruin his high. He just wasn’t going to.

But then worry set in.

This asshole could seriously hurt her, and Klaus knew that she would let him, because she would believe she deserved it simply because she was little Vanya who used to cry when they killed ants outside, and she deserved pain for killing Leonard.

He whined now, wishing Diego was home.

Hell, he wished anyone else were home right now.

Wait, Allison was home.

He licked the wrapping of the second joint and quickly locked it in before he placed one in his front shirt pocket and placed the other one behind his ear. He hurried to Allison’s room where she was redecorating and ran his hands through his hair.

“I need to tell you something about Vanya.”

She visibly stiffened and then turned to look at him. “Vanya? What is it?”

Klaus saw her taking in his very sweaty appearance, but he knew he was bouncing on the balls of his feet right now because he couldn’t keep still, and that was what he was actually looking at.

“I think her asshole boyfriend is hurting her, Allison. She has bruises on her wrist and I’m pretty sure they’re from him!”

“Well… what do you want me to do, Klaus? She can take care of herself in case you’ve forgotten about Harold Jenkins. Anyway, it’s none of our business.”

He felt like jumping out the window in protest. “None of our business? You can’t be serious right now, sis! Vanya is our sister! You know, the one we left behind while we went out on missions?! She needs our help right now…”

Allison sighed, conflict in her eyes. “She can take care of herself, Klaus. If she wanted our help, she would’ve asked for it. We should just stay out of it, especially you, right now.”

“If one more person asks me about my sobriety today, I’m going to lose it. This isn’t about me. This is about Vanya. If you don’t help her, then I will, and no one is going to like it.”

“Klaus, I’m serious. Stay out of it before you get hurt.”

He stormed out of Allison’s room, heading back to his own room. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do yet, but he couldn’t let her continue to get hurt. He took the pills out of his pants and put them on the bedside dresser before he hurried out of the apartment, deciding to wait back at her place for this guy.

If Vanya was dead set on dating him still, he needed him to be afraid of them and at least start treating her right.


	4. promises, promises

**. . .**

“What do you think you’re actually going to accomplish, Klaus?”

He sighed and looked over at his brother who was watching him with apprehensiveness in his eyes. “I hope to accomplish threatening this asshole who’s hurting our sister. Why is everyone so against this? I thought we were over being mad at Vanya for hurting her attackers!”

Ben gave a sigh and a sympathetic smile. “I’m not against it. I just know this isn’t going to end well. You don’t even know what this guy looks like! You’re going to get your ass kicked.”

“I will not! O ye of little faith,” Klaus shook his head as he strolled around the apartment. “Of all people, why is it _you_ who doesn’t believe in me? We’ve been together through thick and thick, dear brother!”

“I believe in you until you go looking for trouble. You should’ve at least told Diego your plans,” Ben’s eyes watched his brother as he looked around the smallish apartment.

Then they both watched as a doorknob turned and opened, and in walked in a tallish man with built features, dark hair, and a hard jawline. “You must be Klaus,” he spoke icily as he closed the door and looked at him.

Klaus’s eyes widened in surprise at the automatic recognition. “Oh, has Vanya told you a lot about me?”

“Yeah,” he took a couple steps towards the other man. “She told me how her brother Klaus is a drug addict who likes to steal shit to pay for his habit.” His voice was so cold and hard that it was obvious he wasn’t the easygoing type of guy.

_Red flags, red flags everywhere._

“Was,” Klaus attempted to correct him.

Ben shook his head. “Is.”

“Shut up,” Klaus muttered to Ben before looking back up at Vanya’s boyfriend. “Well you know me, but I haven’t gotten the pleasure of hearing your name at all.”

“Daniel.”

“Oh, well there we go!” Klaus clapped his hands, trying to hide his nervousness. He could still feel the coke running through his body as his heart thumped hard against his chest. “I just came over here to tell you to stop hurting my sister.” Klaus forced his voice to become serious and deep, glaring at him.

Daniel smirked sickly now and shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Klaus. I haven’t touched her, but I _will_ hurt _you_ if you come around here again uninvited.”

“I’m her brother! I don’t need a written invitation,” Klaus spoke simply. He took a brave step towards him. “Touch her again, and I swear to whatever gods there are in this fucked up world, you won’t live to see her again!”

“You’re threatening me, Klaus?” He shoved him hard, causing Number Four to hit the wall hard. “I would love to see you actually hurt me… it’s going to make your sister love you anymore. I know guys like you, Klaus… guys who hate themselves so much, that they can’t help but make others hate them as well. You think your sister actually loves you? She despises you! She wishes she never grew up with someone like you.”

Klaus felt his stomach drop now, feeling his bravery start to falter. “You’re lying…”

“I wish I were, my friend. One of the first things she complained to me about was how much she loathed all her brothers and her sister outshining her in everything! She envied your relationship with your father. She wanted to be the only one to have his attention, even if it was just for five minutes,” Daniel remarked, walking back over to Klaus now with a cocky strut.

“Don’t listen to him, Klaus,” Ben spoke coolly, looking over at him. “He’s just trying to get in your head.”

“I think it’s time you left now, Klaus. I’ll be seeing you.” Daniel grabbed Klaus’s shirt with closed fists and pushed him towards the front door. He opened it and shoved him out before slamming the door in his face.

“That could’ve gone better,” Klaus sighed, feeling like he had failed at something else once more. He began to head out of the apartment.

“That could have gone worse,” Ben shrugged. “You’re lucky it didn’t go that way. He had at least six inches on you. He could’ve murdered you, Klaus. You have this bad habit of not picking fights with people your own size.”

Klaus gave a humorless chuckle and walked out onto the street. He grabbed the joint in his pocket and placed it between his lips before lighting the end of it. “I would have to send Luther after this guy in order for equal fights to be picked!”

Ben walked in front of Klaus but off to the side and walked backwards, trying to make some eye contact with his brother. “Hey, here’s a crazy idea… how about not getting into fights at all?”

“Oh yeah, that’s wonderful advice!” Klaus exclaimed sarcastically. “Hey, you should’ve mentioned that to dear Papa all those years ago. Maybe then, you wouldn’t have died.”

A solemn appeared in Ben’s eyes now. “Somehow I don’t think that would have helped. Dad wasn’t the most sensitive human being. He always said that we were fighting to save the world.”

“Dad was a borderline sociopath,” Klaus scoffed, taking another puff from the joint. “He wouldn’t have understood a lot of things. Let’s not think about sad things right now! Let’s just relax.”

Ben didn’t say anything as he shoved his hands into his jacket and walked alongside Klaus as he entered their house. Klaus was surprised his brother was still with him; usually he disappeared whenever he was on drugs. Maybe it just depended on the drug.

“There you are,” Diego greeted him as he hurried down the stairs. “Where the hell did you go? I was looking all over for you. I thought you were still here somewhere.”

“It doesn’t matter where I’ve been, Diego… only where I’m going.”

“Are you high?” His brother shook his head in disappointment.

Klaus waved his hands in the air, the joint still between his fingers. “Obviously!” he laughed softly. “I pinky promise this is the last time, though… at least for the coke. I’m still going to keep smoking because it feels _so goooood._ ”

“You should tell him about Vanya,” Ben advised from beside Number Four.

Klaus glanced over at him now and sighed, shaking his head. “What difference would it make? He’s not going to care. Just like Allison!”

“You should still tell him.”

“Fuuuuck,” Klaus sighed dramatically.

Diego set his jaw, looking a bit impatient at the apparent one-sided conversation that was happening right now, once again. “What about Allison?”

He started upstairs so he could at least be in a comfortable, safe place while he was high. He didn’t say anything to either of them, but he heard them following him. Once they got to Klaus’ room, he sat down on the floor, crisscross, applesauce, Diego standing by the door with his arms folded in front of him.

“Klaus!”

He looked up at him now with helpless eyes. “Diego, someone is hurting Vanya, again.”

The other man’s brows knit in confusion. “Who? Wait a minute – is that where you were, at her apartment to beat this guy up?”

“Well, the idea was to threaten him, but… it turned out he was much bigger than me and it’s a bad time for Luther not to be here. He could’ve used his big monkey arms and thrown that guy around like a rag doll,” Klaus rambled.

Diego walked further inside the room now and sat down in front of his brother and watched him smoke. He sighed softly. “How do you know he’s hurting her?”

“I’ve seen her bruises, D! I know it’s happening, for a fact… oh, and also the way she tries to avoid the topic and her bullshit lies about falling down. That’s what every domestic abuse victim says!” Klaus finished the joint and set it in a nearby ashtray.

“Klaus, you’re a good person for wanting to protect our sister, but you know as well as any of us that she can protect herself. The question is, why isn’t she?” Diego searched his face.

He sighed heavily. “Really? You don’t know why? She doesn’t want to use her powers for evil! She can control them better now, but she’s afraid of killing him. B, she probably also thinks that she deserves whatever this asshole is doing to her! I’m high and even I can connect the dots, Diego!”

Diego stood up now but paced the room. “If she doesn’t want to help herself, then what do you expect us to do about it? She doesn’t want our help!”

“So, what… you want to wait until this guy kills her? Fuck that, Diego!”

Diego shook his head. “Allison wouldn’t talk to her about it?”

“No, and it seems like I’m the only one of us that actually gives a shit about Vanya!” Klaus shouted, standing up to face him. The pot was making him slow and tired, but he still had some fight left in him.

Diego shoved him now. “Shut up. I still care about her, but trust me when I say that going over there and threatening this guy will only make him hurt her worse. You don’t want that, Klaus, and neither do I!”

“So what the hell are we supposed to do?”

“Either prove that he’s been hurting her, and get him arrested, or let her do her thing on him and… maybe she can control the situation by herself,” Diego shrugged, the fight leaving him. “I know how domestic violence can turn out, and it’s not pretty.”

“Yeah, D, I know! We saw it first hand when Harold Jenkins was manipulating and using our sister! That’s still pretty fresh in _my_ mind. I just… I hate this! Why can’t you just go over there and make him leave her or something? You’re pretty intimidating. Ooh! Use your knives! You could scare him!” Klaus suggested, his head feeling heavy.

“We can’t fight all her fights for her, Klaus. We need to let her take care of her own problems sometimes, for better or worse. Allison seems to know that too. Just… leave her be, listen when she wants to talk, and… if she outright asks for help, then we’ll figure something out, all right, bro?”

Diego’s voice was so gentle and patient now that Klaus nodded in agreement. He lay down on the floor on a blanket and closed his eyes. Then, he heard footsteps walk near him towards the bedside table and opened his eyes again.

“Hey… what are you doing?”

He watched Diego grab the baggie off the table that had his brightly colored pills in them and walk into his bathroom. “Getting rid of temptation.”

“What? Nooooooo….” Klaus whined before getting to his knees as fast as his body would let him before following his brother into the bathroom just in time to watch the ecstasy swirl down the toilet and disappear. “Diego! I was going to use those for clarity!”

“No, Four. You were going to use them for numbing your pain. I’m sick of seeing you like this. It’s time to get clean, once and for all,” Diego stated, turning back to face his brother. “It’s going to be all right, I promise… not just about getting clean but I mean… with Vanya too.”

Klaus gave a shake of his head, looking at Diego skeptically. “You can’t promise that. You don’t know that she’ll be all right.”

“Klaus, she’s strong, mentally and physically. She’s learned her lesson with Jenkins… and she’s better for it now. I’m not saying ignore her or anything. I’m just saying, she doesn’t need our help right this minute,” Diego tried to reassure him. “Come on, I’ll make us some dinner.”

“I _am_ a bit hungry,” he admitted before he followed Diego downstairs and into the kitchen where he saw Allison already making dinner. “Where’s Mom?”

Their other sister glanced over to look at them. “She’s tidying up Luther and Fives’ rooms.”

Diego and Klaus both sat down at the table. Klaus gave a tired yawn. “Do you think she misses them?”

Allison came over and placed two plates of spaghetti in front of them before sitting down herself in between her brothers. “You mean, the children she raised, fed, taught, and cleaned for? Of course she misses them. She has feelings, just like any other mom.”

Klaus thought back to when they were children. He and Ben had been roughhousing and Klaus had bit his lip when he was knocked into a nearby table. There was blood everywhere and Ben looked terrified when she came in and saw the scene. She fixed Klaus up, though, and simply told them to play more gently.

He smiled at the memory, wondering if Ben still had memories replaying in his head sometimes as well.

They ate together but Klaus knew who else was missing. He glanced over at the empty spot where Vanya usually sat with them and felt empty as well.

_He should have done more to help her._

“Klaus, are you all right?”

He looked up to see Allison looking at him with concern. “Yeah, yup. I’m great.”

She didn’t looked convinced, but she also didn’t continue to ask him questions, so he went back to eating in silence. When they were done, he volunteered to wash the dishes, feeling bad that Mom always had to do it for so many years. Allison made herself a cup of tea before heading up to bed, but Diego stayed in the kitchen with Klaus.

“Look, if you really want me to, I’ll go over to her place tomorrow to make sure she’s all right,” Diego offered, watching his brother.

“What about all that stuff you said about her fending for herself?”

Diego gave a weak shrug. “I’ve been thinking what you told me, and… as her brothers, we should look out for her, even if she’s able to look out for herself. If she’s not there, then maybe I’ll give this guy a warning.”

Klaus nodded and bit his lip anxiously. “Won’t it make things worse for her?”

“I’ll be careful about it. Don’t worry. You don’t have to come, Klaus. It’s better off if you stay here anyway.”

Klaus wasn’t about to fight him on it. This one time, he didn’t particularly want to go out anywhere that Diego was going. He had already confronted Daniel, and he wasn’t eager to get his legs broken any time soon. He did fear the wrath she might bring on him, however, for telling their siblings about the bruises.

He kept telling himself that he was a good brother for it, but he was torn in half. She might be so angry she never talks to him again.

“Klaus, hey… it’ll be okay.”

He nodded, but he wasn’t sure he believed those words anymore. Nothing seemed to be okay for long with them.


End file.
